12 Days of Fitmas day 6: Healthy Families

Healthy Mom = Healthy Families

My life motto

My Saturday / Sunday routines

The weekend is for family.

It doesn't always go as planned, but we always try to get in one workout and go on an adventure. When I say "we", I mean me and my four year old son. Instead of watching cartoons, he loves to workout with me in the morning. Instead of asking him to leave me alone, we I let him lead the workout. It usually looks something like this. 

Depending on weather, and our schedule, we ALWAYS go on an adventure on the weekend. Sometimes it's saturday, sometimes SUnday, but it always gets done. This is usually just a hike in the woods, but the moments we have together in the woods are truly amazing. Why do I like hiking in the forest so much? This is why I benefit from it, but read on below to find out how it benefits the whole family. 

Why encouraging your kids to be active with you is important

Our kids watch everything we do. They learn from everything we do. Why wouldn't you want them to see you having a healthy relationship with exercise, your body, and nutrition. These observances are what form the foundation for becoming healthy adults. 

Active Kids 

All moms want the best for their children. This, of course, applies to health too. Families can be active together anywhere; indoors or out. I prefer outdoors, but we've made memories indoors too. Being active together only enhances and strengthens our family bonds. 

Some ideas for being an active family indoors: inflatable house, trampoline park, indoor swimming, indoor playground, and more. The key to these activities though is THAT YOU DO THEM AS WELL. GET UP, GET MOVING, AND HAVE FUN.

One of my biggest pet peeves is the mom at the park who tells me she wished she had a body like mine after having kids, then sits at the park while her kid plays and sits on her phone. I'm not saying I NEVER do this, but a playground is really just workout equipment designed to look like fun. Here's a link to a blog post I wrote about getting a full body workout whilt at the park. Get kiddy with it

Why do I love taking my son on hikes?

Besides the great workout I get when we walk three miles together, it is truly magical to see him explore.  This photo below pretty much sums up what I see when I watch him go off the trail and climb a tree or whatever. I see it all, everyday. There is nothing more magical than that. 

Raising healthy eaters

This is the hard part. I'm not always successful, but I've got a few tricks up my sleeve that I think are my secret weapons.

1. Hiding veggies in EVERYTHING! 

1. Spinach hidden in smoothies. J thinks it's his special "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shake" cause it's green. I told him it probably will turn him into a ninja
2. Hidden veggie noodles. Enough said. Barilla has two good kinds. 
3. This is my favorite trick. I call it the Cauliflower Cheese Switcheroo. I have an old parmeseasn cheese shaker I save. Once a week, I steam cualiflower then run it through the food processor, and put it in the shaker. My son thinks it's his special cheese. He adds it to everything. He has no idea. 

2. Family Dinner

These are so important. You can call me old fashioned, but I don't care. Having a time when we all prepare a meal, then sit down to eat and talk together was huge for me growing up and I love that I can do that for my son. It doesn't happen every night, and he doesn't always like what we have, but we all sit and talk about our day. I believe that this encourages even healthier habits in our children.

 

The day mommy got a time out

J and I had a wonderful weekend. We drove down to Missouri on Friday to visit family / see his dad. Despite J puking twice on the way down, all over his carseat and himself, then again while we were sleeping, it was a marvelous trip. He was happy and up beat all of Friday, even with the puking. The only negative was at the very end when I accidently squished his toe in the car door. It wasn't bad. It was red for ten minutes. 

We spent Saturday with my family, went to the park and had lunch with my cousin and his two toddlers, J was even a good boy at a Church service remembering my grandparents Saturday afternoon. After Church, we drove the back roads to his father's work. He works in a farm supply/hardware store. We were early so we walked around a bit. Dealing with his dad was even a nice encounter. I headed back to my grandparent's house, took myself out to dinner, watched a sunset, and listened to audiobooks I had downloaded. It was a beautiful Saturday. 

Sunday was an absolutely beautiful day in Southeast Missouri. Sun shining, a few random clouds, seventy degrees. I woke up early, worked out, went for a walk to Main St. in their small town, then went to a Church lunch my aunt was working at. After the lunch, my aunt and I went shopping. She has two sons, a husband, and two grandsons, so she needs girl time every once in a while. We got back from shopping, I packed up my stuff, went through some of my grandparent's stuff that was boxed up. I picked out some books I wanted to keep, and learned my grandparents were apparently VERY into bird watching, who knew?! hahaha I went to sleep early. It was another beautiful day. 

Monday started great. I woke up early and met J and his dad back at his work. I was early, J seemed happy, his dad was decent, "This is going to be a nice 7 hour drive home," I thought to myself. After about a half hour of driving, J fell asleep for about 45 minutes. Again, I thought this is going to be one of our best trips back ever. 

For the next six hours, we had the same conversation 12 times an hour, for six hours.

J: Mommy?

Me: Yes?

J: Are we home yet?

Me: No

J: -crying hysterically, out of nowhere- OMG WE'RE LOST! WE'RE NEVER GOING TO GET HOME!

Me: I promise you we are not lost

J: Mommy?

Me: Yes?

J: Can I watch on your phone?

Me: No. It's not working

J: -crying hysterically- OMG MY TOE HURTS! YOU SMASHED IN THE DOOR! YOU ARE THE WORST MOMMY! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

In between these discussions, he'd throw shit at me or kick my seat, and he'd get a time out. We've been doing 1-2-3-Magic program for discipline, and it's been going great. How the hell are you supposed to give a 4 year old a time out while you're driving down the highway? Seriously, I'm open for ideas. I ended up pulling over every time, taking whatever toys he had found, turning off music, and ignore him for four minutes. 

While ignoring him for four minutes helped, by the time we got home I was spent. I don't remember what I had done to piss him off at that point, but in our first 20 minutes home, he spent 15 in timeout. I did something else, Lord knows what, and he told me, "You're a mean mommy. You're not listening. You need a timeout!" I. WAS. LIVID. 

To keep both of us safe, I said ok. I turned on the alarm and went in my room for 28 minutes. I told him he couldn't talk to me while I was up there. IT WAS AMAZING!

I think every toddler mom should make a regular "mommy time out" part of their routine. The kids will survive, you will keep your sanity, it's really a win-win. After my nap, he said sorry for not listening, I said sorry for yelling, and we watched a movie together. 

A leap of faith

When the consequences of taking a leap of faith, and failing, are diminished by the consequences of not taking the leap, your minds already made up. TAKE THAT LEAP. 

I met my son's father while we were both in college in Missouri. I'm from Chicago. I left him when my son was a year old. My parents, "stayed together for the kids," and I respect them so much for that. At the same time though, their unhappiness has caused emotional issues for me, and my siblings, into adulthood. I never wanted my son to deal with that. The house is full of love 75% of the time, but there are moments. A year after I left, I graduated and I had a lease ending, plus no job lined up, so we moved in with my parents back in chicago. That was my only choice. 

Three years later, and we're still living with them. I was offered the opportunity to return to my alma mater to study for my master's degree. I keep telling everyone that's the plan. "Moving back to Missouri. Going to grad school." I haven't submitted the paperwork though. I was terrified, until today. 

What if I fail and have to move back to Chicago? What will that do to my son? Will he hate me forever? Will he be emotionally scarred cause of my failure? Can I even do this without my parents? 

I noticed something today though while my mom was yelling at my dad cause he put coffee in her cup before the creamer, which is ~obviously~ incorrect. I noticed my son's whole body language change. He had woken up happy, full of energy. As this went down he kind of curled up in his seat; head down, shoulders in, eyes on the table. I knew right then and there that we were moving. At that moment, my failure didnt mean shit if it stopped his emotional wreckage from happening. 

Some things still amaze me about becoming a parent, and how quickly my feeling change based on his well being, will always be one of them. I saw his reaction and knew that I wasn't going to fail because of him. All of my selfish fears disappeared cause he needed this opportunity just as much as i did. If, by some weird fluke, I totally bomb, at least he'll know mommy tried. I'm not saying that I won't hit a bump or two, or that I won't emotionally damage him in other ways, but at least they'll be my own, different ways. Hahahaha

So, my message today is that I wish you inner peace with your decisions. Don't stress yourself too much about making the right decision. If you work hard, and make the most of every speed bump you hit, you'll be just fine.  

Why my neighbors love Winter

With Fall officially upon us, I thought I would write an open letter to all my neighbors, but especially, the young family who just moved in to one of the houses that backs up to my backyard. This is an apology in advance for them because they won't experience my "mommy-rath" until next Summer. I would like to apologize for all the shit you hear me yell at my son and my dog. I know you can't see me through the bushes, but know that I am cringing at the ridiculous sentences I say.


Ok, a little backstory here. I live with my parents and we have a pretty sweet backyard. It's not huge, but we have a pool, a swing set, a sandbox, a little pool, a big dog, a small dog, a garden, and my four year old son. Our beautiful landscaping has grown so big that our backyard is like an escape. You can almost forget you even have neighbors. These bushes help me believe I'm hiding my crazy, but I'm clearly not. Here's pictures of the backyard:

And here's how it would look from the air. My yard is the polaroid with the "social problems" sticker. All the other ones are backyards that are affected by this. The new family just moved into the house with the star. Although, they have what appears to be a young son, so this could just be a warning of what's to come. All the other affected neighbors have been there for years, or have kids around J's age, so they don't mind and have told us they love the random comments they hear through the fence.
*I know it's not the best collage, but I had to work with what I got. *

So, that's the yard, these are the characters responsible for my crazy:

Lucy & Thor

Top ten phrases I have actually said that make my neighbors love Winter

During the Winter, we're all rarely in our backyards at the same time, but on a beautiful summer day, you can expect to hear one of the following come from my backyard. 

1. Where did your clothes go? / Why are you naked? / Can you at least put underwear on?

2. Don't pee in/on/off of that

3. Stop throwing your toys in the big pool

4. Stop throwing sand in the little pool

5. Lucy, don't eat Thor's poo

6. Lucy, don't eat Thor

7.Be careful. Going down that slide naked is going to hurt. 

8. No. I'm not kissing your butt cause the slide was hot. I told you put clothes back on 5 minutes ago.

9. Don't go near that pool. I told you we can't go swimming till your have clothes on. We don't swim naked. / Don't sit in the sandbox naked

10. Where the hell did you find that paint?! No don't paint that, or that, or the dogs. get back here!

Why I became a personal trainer

So, a few weeks ago I officially became an ACE certified personal trainer. I took classes at my local jr. college and studied my butt off for a year. Besides with people who know me personally, I have never gotten into why I wanted to become a personal trainer, and there is a lot behind my three main reasons, so I thought I'd delve into that today.

Reason #1: Everyone deserves to feel happy about their body and I would love to assist people to getting healthier.

I fell in love with exercise, and it became habit, when I stopped looking at it as something I HAD to do for weight loss. I had exercised on and off since I had my son, but finally, after two years it stuck. I wanted to lose weight, but I gained so much. It was a huge stress reliever, mood balancer, and gave me confidence. That was before I even saw any results in the mirror. My mother had repeatedly told me I would never get my pre-baby body back and that only crazy people tried to get back into shape. When I did start to see results, I realized she was crazy, but right at the same time. But how, you ask.
1. I had changed. I no longer wanted my pre-baby body back. I wanted to be healthy, happy, and active. I never lost all the weight, but I'm in better shape than I was when I was 18.
2. I realized that I spend so much time making sure my son is healthy, happy, and active, that I DESERVE to do the same for my self.
3. She was crazy! Being in good health wards off all kinds of disease as you get older. Good for the women who do lose all the weight. If they are happy, who am I too judge?! Same for the mommas who don't try to lost any of the baby weight. The crazy ones are the ones who try to tell people they can't accomplish their goals.

Reason #2: I witnessed people missing out on opportunities to have fun and be active. It's the culmination of these missed chances that keeps it from becoming a lifestyle change for people.  

My son and I love to be outside, or just active. We hike, walk to the park, he helps me garden, we swim, we go to nature centers, etc. I've written numerous blog posts about exercising in nature and kids in nature, so I won't talk about that more than necessary. This reason is the result of a few observations I made while with my son, so to make it easy, I'm just going to list them out.

1. Parents who drive to the park and then sit on their phones while their kids play.
My son is young enough that he still wants me to play with him, so I use the playground equipment as my gym. He doesn't realize it, and we have fun. If your kids are older, body weight exercises with the benches are great.

Also, WALK TO THE PARK! Walking is so good for you. Bonus points if you push a stroller or carry a bike home cause "they're too tired". haha

2. I live next to O'hare Airport in Chicago. You would be amazed how many forests you can get lost in, right by the airport. The trees are surrounded by busy streets, but there are nature centers, trails, museums, lakes, boat rentals, picnic shelters, and you never feel like you're in Chicago. That amazed me. THERE ARE OPPORTUNITIES LIKE THIS IN COMMUNITIES EVERYWHERE! PLUS, MOST OF THEM ARE FREE! Walking is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Take advantage of any cool opportunities near you. Get out and explore your area, your outdoors, or your region.

I believe doing fun things like this are what make it easier to adopt an active and healthy lifestyle, and stick to it. This also transfers to all the people around you. My son loves going on adventures! He doesn't realize mom's happy cause she got a three mile walk in and cause he'll sleep like a baby that night.

Reason #3: Prevent people from dieing. 

While studying personal training, both of my paternal grandparents fell ill and died. They hadn't been well for quite a few years. Both had trouble with falls, grandpa had Parkinson, they were older, etc. Not being physically fit is not why they died, but I think a little more activity earlier in life would have benefited them. I read a research article that stated, "to prevent falls in old age, people should stay healthy enough to get out of a sunken chair without using the arm rests." 
If I can help ONE person go into old age knowing they are of decent health and can live a better quality of life than my grandparents did the past few years, I will be happy.

So, that is why I became a personal trainer. I would love to help you reach whatever goals you have. Email me and we can talk about how we could work together to get your health where you want it to be! 

jschwent.fit@gmail.com

Check me out @jschwent.fit on instagram

JSchwent Fitness & Personal Training on Facebook

Four lessons I learned while doing the "wrong things" for my son.

Today's topic came to mind when I stumbled upon this lovely blog post: Anna Rosenbaum Palmer

I loved every idea, and already do some. The title is, "Nine Ways Lazy Parenting Helps Grow Great Grownups."

As she says, there are so many "styles" of parenting these days, and everyone will tell you why their preferred method is the best, and someone else will tell you why that way is complete garbage. I am not here to tell you the right way. Today is my son's fourth birthday. It's been a crazy four years, and I am just here to share my parenting experience, the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

In honor of the big fourth bday we are celebrating today, I thought I'd share four of the biggest "mistakes", according to everyone else, and how they turned out to be wonderful decisions for my son, myself, or both of us. 

1. Being Selfish

I've been accused of being selfish numerous times. 

The first is when I left my son's functioning- alcoholic of a father because I didn't want to marry him.

What people said: "You're tearing your family apart", "Think about what this will do to your son","You have a kid, you need to put his needs first, not your own.", "Don't you want your son to grow up in a happy home?"

What actually happened: My son is growing up in a happy home. My happiness is important cause without that, I couldn't be the best mom I could possibly be. He also would've grown up with a distorted view of what love is. How's his relationship with his dad? It's shit. He sees him next to never. Daddy dearest decided it was much easier being a parent two weeks a year than actually giving a damn. This could be seen as a downside, but to be honest, it's not. Because I made the decision I did, I am able to be a better dad, as well as the best mom for my son. My guess is that I would have been doing both jobs, even if I stayed, just now I'm happier.

2. Letting my toddler do stuff on his own

People don't give toddlers enough credit. They are smart little creatures and they'll figure stuff out pretty quickly. I have often relied on the, "well, he'll figure it out," mantra, and, guess what?! My son figures it out. 

The beautiful pallet garden that my three
 year old helped me build, using real tools.


 

What I heard: "You're going to let him climb that [at the park]?! What if he can't get down?", "You're going to let him wear shorts out of the house?! It's December!", "He is way too young to be using a screwdriver, saw, or hammer. He's only three.", "Kids that age shouldn't listen to music like that.", "That's too heavy for him, he'll hurt himself."

What happened: 

He cried for a little, but when he realized I wasn't climbing up the playground to get him, he figured out how to get down safely. He overcame that fear and now needs less help than some ten year olds I've seen at the park. 

With the shorts, he never made that mistake again, and I'll never have to beg him to dress for the weather ever again. 

With the tools, we had one smashed finger, but then he figured it out. Now, he helps me and grandpa actually build/fix stuff around the house. He is always so proud of himself when we finish up. 

With the heavy items, yes it was too heavy. He dropped it on his toe. He now asks for help when he needs it. 

3. Letting him listen to music or radio that wasn't appropriate

J has always liked music, ever since he was a newborn. There was this weird cable, classic country/bluegrass station that played music videos 24/7. It was the only thing that would keep me awake during midnight feedings, and the only thing that would calm him when he started teething @ 3 months. He got his first guitar at 18 months. He started listening to the Grateful Dead at age 2. He now owns a banjo and loves Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, and Willie Nelson. I also listen to NPR whenever we're in the car. This has caused minor irritations for his teachers and daycare workers. 

What I've heard: "Um it's really not appropriate for him to bring a Grateful Dead stuffed bear to show and tell.", "James asked to make a 'Go Home Bundys' sign during art today.", "James probably shouldn't be singing 'If you like pina coladas' during singing time.", "James told the whole class today about the budget crisis the state of IL is going through, and gave us all reasons why we should work as a team. Kids shouldn't be worrying about that."

What actually happened: They were all wrong and he's starting guitar lessons tomorrow

A Grateful Dead bear is only a symbol of something if you make it that. I think it's a symbol for a really great band, and one of the best guitarists of all time. 

As far as singing Jimmy Buffet goes, I am proud that he knows a song by heart. Maybe not the best time, but what other three year old can do that?!

The "Go Home Bundys" sign wasn't my fault, I blame that on watching too much MSNBC with his grandpa. Either way, I do not think it is a bad thing to have a child who understands that the world doesn't begin and end with him. He has a deeper knowledge of how this world works, and is coming up with solutions that he sees as possible. There is nothing wrong with that. 

#parentingwin

4. Letting him make a huge mess or get himself messy

Sometimes, even I think this is a mistake beforehand. 

Making a huge mess has turned into some wonderful projects or experiences

Project: Furniture painting 

We had furniture in our backyard that we had wanted to repaint for years. J and I had SO, SO, SO MUCH FUN getting paint all over our clothes, the grass, the patio, and, of course, the furniture. 

The mess: The grass grew, then was cut, paint gone. Our clothes were messy clothes anyways. The extra paint washed off the patio, and our furniture is GORGEOUS. We also now have painted paver rocks and a multi color rain barrel too. 

Experience: Playing in the mud

The mess: not even comparable to the amount of fun we had. 

I am a firm believer that we are exactly what our children need, mistakes and all, and the best piece of parenting advice that I got when I was pregnant, still keeps me calm to this day.
"Kids don't come with instructions. Because of this, god made them pretty human proof. Think of all the shit cavemen babies had to go through, and yet they survived, and we are proof of that.