Why my neighbors love Winter

With Fall officially upon us, I thought I would write an open letter to all my neighbors, but especially, the young family who just moved in to one of the houses that backs up to my backyard. This is an apology in advance for them because they won't experience my "mommy-rath" until next Summer. I would like to apologize for all the shit you hear me yell at my son and my dog. I know you can't see me through the bushes, but know that I am cringing at the ridiculous sentences I say.


Ok, a little backstory here. I live with my parents and we have a pretty sweet backyard. It's not huge, but we have a pool, a swing set, a sandbox, a little pool, a big dog, a small dog, a garden, and my four year old son. Our beautiful landscaping has grown so big that our backyard is like an escape. You can almost forget you even have neighbors. These bushes help me believe I'm hiding my crazy, but I'm clearly not. Here's pictures of the backyard:

And here's how it would look from the air. My yard is the polaroid with the "social problems" sticker. All the other ones are backyards that are affected by this. The new family just moved into the house with the star. Although, they have what appears to be a young son, so this could just be a warning of what's to come. All the other affected neighbors have been there for years, or have kids around J's age, so they don't mind and have told us they love the random comments they hear through the fence.
*I know it's not the best collage, but I had to work with what I got. *

So, that's the yard, these are the characters responsible for my crazy:

Lucy & Thor

Top ten phrases I have actually said that make my neighbors love Winter

During the Winter, we're all rarely in our backyards at the same time, but on a beautiful summer day, you can expect to hear one of the following come from my backyard. 

1. Where did your clothes go? / Why are you naked? / Can you at least put underwear on?

2. Don't pee in/on/off of that

3. Stop throwing your toys in the big pool

4. Stop throwing sand in the little pool

5. Lucy, don't eat Thor's poo

6. Lucy, don't eat Thor

7.Be careful. Going down that slide naked is going to hurt. 

8. No. I'm not kissing your butt cause the slide was hot. I told you put clothes back on 5 minutes ago.

9. Don't go near that pool. I told you we can't go swimming till your have clothes on. We don't swim naked. / Don't sit in the sandbox naked

10. Where the hell did you find that paint?! No don't paint that, or that, or the dogs. get back here!