My thoughts on happiness when it comes to parenting, IT'S OK TO BE SELFISH

How do you define happiness? 

I've found that as my life moves forward, sometimes these definitions change. Many different things can affect how we define these important aspects of our lives. 

I've also found that once you become a parent, everyone will tell you, "Now that you're a parent, you're own happiness doesn't matter anymore."

For all the parents out there, I want to call BULLSHIT! While your happiness is not as important, it does matter. I am not being selfish. I will ALWAYS put my son's happiness before my own, but I have learned that I am not mom my son deserves if I am not caring about my happiness. Being the best mom I can be means putting my happiness first. My happiness and my son's happiness are intertwined, codependent, and I will not let that make feel like a bad mom!

Am I scared I might not always make the best decision? Of course, but that's part of parenting. I know when something's not right and I go with my gut. 

I promised myself, at a very early age, that I would never work somewhere that made me unhappy. I saw what it did to my mother as I was growing up, and I was POSITIVE I would never be that mom. I have also lived by the philosophy that in order to be the best mother I can  be to my amazing son, I need to be happy, not just with my job, but with everything. I have trusted my gut on this one, and so far, it has served me well. 

So what did I do to make sure of that I was never unhappy at my job? I studied a subject I love, historic preservation, I graduated college and landed, what I thought was, my DREAM JOB within two months of graduating. I was working in a museum, I was planning programs for the public, it sounds perfect right?

Well, not quite. I was miserable. I tried my hardest to appease everybody within the Park District organization, but I couldn't please everybody. Two years later, I finally decided enough was enough and quit. It was scary and I am so lucky I have the amazing support system I do. 

I still believe working in a museum is right for me, but for now I am working part time, focusing on myself and my family, following other passions, and finishing up getting my personal training certification.

Again, this decision was scary, and it may not be the right one for every family, but for my son and I, putting my happiness first has truly made us both happier, brought us closer, and is a decision I would not take back for anything. 

So, what have I been up to for the past two months?

Well, I found a part time job that pays the bills, I am finishing up my classes to become a certified personal trainer, but the most lovely part is that I don't take it home with me. Any frustrations are left at the door when I leave, I am not responsible for more than my job duties, and I love it. This job, along with It Works, is truly allowing me to pursue other passions and spend quality time with my son. 

Solo road trip through IL 

picnic-ing in the woods

Kayaking & fishing

Got my other gardens ready

Planted a butterfly garden

So, if you take anything away from this, please remember that you are an awesome parent, you are doing the best you can, and I BELIEVE YOUR HAPPINESS IS IMPORTANT. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT.

Wishing you peace & happiness

XOxo Jen